Cosmo Farfetch: A Life Less Fabulous

In this series, we meet Cosmo Farfetch, our tragic star at rock bottom: dumped, broke, and draped across his velvet couch with nothing but an argyle rug and wounded pride.

Each week, the disasters escalate. Bills pile up, auditions are missed, Tiffany (his arch-nemesis) struts in with a Birkin and a vendetta, and Cosmo’s only ally is Miles — a coin-obsessed one-night stand who never left.

Nanna escapes the nursing home in sequins, Tiffany sharpens her claws, and Cosmo himself becomes the unwilling face of erectile dysfunction. By the time he falls into bed with Tiffany’s ex, he’s crossed the final line between personal humiliation and open warfare.

But beneath the slapstick and slurred cocktails lies intrigue: family inheritances, Tiffany’s vendetta, a debt collector named Big Merv, and Miles’ suspiciously undying devotion. The bigger story is only just beginning.

Because Cosmo Farfetch is not simply unlucky. He is the star of his own scandal — and the world hasn’t seen the half of it yet.